Midnight Sanity, Morning Madness
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Wrong statement at the wrong place and the wrong time.  I had no sleep, needed caffeine, and this guy was way too nasty.  “Excuse me,” I said, “but what exactly is it you came here to buy?” and I look pointedly at his Lava Vaders.

He again turns his crazy gaze on me.  “I’m here because my wife forced me to be.”

“What a man!” my wife chimes in.  It turns out she, her father, her step-mother, and her friends had come to the end of the aisle, drawn to the altercation. 

“I’m sorry?” COM says, pissy, as he turns to my wife (who was not protected by her cart).

“Yes, you are sorry,” my father-in law says.  A few more words are exchanged between them, with COM getting the worse of the deal every time.  This brings a manager who asks my posse to wait by the door while I check out.  Crazy Old Man says nothing further, but keeps shooting me glances, and I just stare him down every time.  I wanted him to try something, but he left without saying a word.

Upon checkout I apologize to Joanne for any problems I may have caused but I thought he was treating her quite unfairly.  She tells me that if that’s the worst she experiences all day it’s a good day, and I feel sorry for retail employees.  I say to her “I hope I ruined that guy’s day because he just made mine,” and, I kid you not, Joanne dances a jig with that.  I’ve never seen someone dance a jig with happiness, but Joanne danced a jig.  He bothered her and she couldn’t do anything about it without losing her job, but she did appreciate my stepping in. 

On his way out COM has more words with my father in law.  I’m not sure what was said, but managers escorted COM out.  It is then discovered that COM is the husband of the lady who cut in line earlier!  What a pair!  They were not there for themselves, but for their son who was home asleep.  So he is too lazy to go get his own toys, so he sends his evil parents.  How nice. 

I get rung up properly and spend another couple hundred.

Upon leaving Target both my father in law and I expect this guy to be waiting for us, either to run us down with a car or to punch us. My father in law wished he would have, for we both have quite good lawyers who would love a battery case.  Oh well, COM was nowhere in sight.

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