Fortunately, with many shopping trips and a little luck, we were able to complete first the 21oz bags, then the 14 oz bags. Finally the 3 oz bags were completed, but there were still the 5 oz bags to deal with. These bags are an odd size which few stores carry. I have only seen them at gas stations and at the Star Wars displays at Best Buy and Toys R Us. I bought all the bags both stores had in my town and was still missing two dark chocolate plain M&Ms bags. I tried gas stations, but their M&Ms stock was older and not yet graced with the cute Star Wars M&M guys on the bags.

So finally an hours drive I took on blind faith to Decatur, IL, home of the next closest Best Buy. There were plenty of 5 oz bags in plain, peanut, and dark chocolate peanut, but not a single dark chocolate plain bag was to be found. Curses! We circled the store looking at every end cap, and there were none. A clerk noticed our confused wondering and asked if she could help. I was embarrassed. I am 30 years old. Still I swallowed my pride and said I was looking for M&Ms. At Best Buy. On Saturday night. At 8:30 p.m. With my wife.

Believe it or not the fates must have been smiling upon me because I found the only nice Best Buy clerk in the world. She got her manager who went in the back and found dark chocolate M&Ms. But it got worse, I needed two bags. And not just any bags, two specific bags. I expected her to bring out the case for me to root through, but instead this clerk took the bag numbers and returned with my bounty: the final two M&M bag designs. My M&M bag collection was complete.

I then did some math. I bought well over 50 pounds of M&Ms. In addition I spent about $165 on M&Ms (not counting the M&M tins, M&M minis with cute case designs, M&M water bottles, etc).

Given that the bags crinkle, and that food (especially sugar) draws bugs, I decided to carefully open my bags and remove the food, then flatten them for optimal condition. Which left me with a question of what to do with 50 lbs of M&Ms.

I am now everyone’s best friend at my office, and most of them are on constant sugar highs. A very large, hot pink bowl of non-peanut M&Ms is stored in the cube of a manager in my department. Another large candy dish full of peanuty M&Ms is stored in another manager’s cube. I have sent care packages to my step-nephew, my brother in law, and my godparents. My wife has baked M&M cookies which I, again, brought to work (and which were devoured in under 40 minutes).

The M&M end is in sight. I’m down to probably 20 lbs of M&Ms and those will hopefully be gone before the movie premiers on May 19th.

Now if I can just resist the lure of the Skittles and their 48 bag designs. At least they’re not cute.